Honest appreciation got results where criticism and ridicule failed. Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for. there is an old saying that i have cut out and pasted on my mirror where i cannot help but see it every day.
I shall pass this way but once; any good, there, that i can do or any kindness that i can show to a human being, let me do it now.let me not defer nor neglect it, for i shall not pass this way again.
Lincoln once began a letter saying “Everybody likes a compliment”. William James said: The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciation. He didn’t speak, mind you, of the ‘wish’ or the “desire” or the “longing”to be appreciation.
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
One of the people in American business to be paid a salary of over a million dollars a year ( when there was no income tax and a person earning fifty dollars a week was considered well of) was Charles Schwab. He had been picked by Andrew Carnegie to become the first president of the newly formed united states steel company in 1921, when schwab
was only thirty-eight years old. (schwab later left U.S steel to take over the then trouble Bethlehem steel company, and he rebuilt it into one of the most profitable companies in America.)
Why did Andrew Carnegie pay a million dollars a year, or more than three thousand dollars day, to charles schweb?
why? Because Schweb was a genius? No. Because he knew more about the manufacture of steel than other people or he had many men working for him who knew more about the manufacture of steel? Nonsense.
schewb says that he was paid this salary largely because of his ability to deal with people. Here is the secret set down in his own words-words that ought to be cast in eternal bronze and hung in every home and school,every shop and memorize instead of wasting their time memorizing the conjugation of latin verbs or amount of the annual rainfall in London-words that will all but transform your life and mine if we will only live them:
“”i consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset i possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by Appreciation and Encouragement.
“There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superior. I never criticize anyone.
This is coming from Schweb, i believe in giving a person incentive to work. So i am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If i like anything,i am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.”
That schweb did. But what do average people do? The exact opposite. if they dont like a thing, they bawl out their subordinates; if they do like it ,they say nothing.
As the old couplet says: once i did bad and that i heard ever/twice i did good, but that i heard never.